Brock's Point of View...

I wrote this earlier today. Getting my thoughts and emotions down can be so thereputic for me...

So, I’m sitting here on the floor of my living room because I have no chairs. Our movers have been “delayed” till Friday and so we are going to be without our things until then. And yesterday I began to notice a few things. The carpet looks great because we had it cleaned, but I still feel like I can smell the lingering scent of dog. The drapes too. They are horrendous. Not just ugly (I can deal with ugly) but they smell. Bad. Like they were used to dry the dogs off every time they got out of the bath. The cupboard floor under the kitchen sink is in bad shape with part of it broken off completely. And a handful of the doorknobs in the house need to be replaced entirely because they are broken somehow. If the drapes to the front window of our house are open and one of the kids decides to push the bathroom door open....yeah, it wouldn't be a pretty sight. Call me crazy but I don't want the neighborhood to witness me doing my business.

A lot of junky stuff that I do not want was left behind for us to take care of and even the stuff that I can find a use for looks like it hasn’t been dusted in ten years. And the flies! They must have gotten in when the previous owner was moving out and they were everywhere! Chad bought some fly paper and put it up around the house…I have counted over 100 flies on the fly paper alone! And I’ve probably killed a dozen or so with the fly swatter in the last 48 hours. Spiders too. My kids each have spots on their arms and legs that are itchy and swollen from spider bites.  Brock also fell off our porch yesterday and into the rose bushes that are so out of control that they resemble that scene from Sleeping Beauty....you know, the one where Maleficent makes the forrest of thorns? And Chad spent a good 2 hours outside in the front and back yard scooping up dog poop and spraying down the walkways and the deck.

And the behavior is killing me! I’m trying so hard to be patient with them since the emotional trauma and stress we have all been under for the past week is not easy to deal with when you understand it, let alone when you don’t! The kids watched as their beds and toys were loaded into a semi-truck and waved goodbye as it drove away. They had to wander around their empty house for several hours and try to entertain themselves as I cleaned and we have been living in hotel rooms ever since, with much of the first few days spent in the car driving to places they had never seen before (and let's be honest: the Wyoming sceenery leaves much to be desired). They are up late and up early and naps have been limited to the car or the floor at our house (with pillow cases as blankets) since we haven’t been in the same hotel for more than a night at a time.

Then of course school starts tomorrow morning at a school that we have only driven past once, teachers we have never met, and classmates Ella doesn’t know. She is constantly mouthing off to me, Brock bit one of his sisters this morning, and I had to issue a time out in the middle of breakfast at our hotel this morning because Miri wanted a doughnut for breakfast (which they did not have), she threw her plate across the room in protest, and refused to pick it up when I asked. Oh she screamed for a good few minutes before I finally approached the corner she was in and asked if she was ready to pick up her plate and join us kindly (she decided she was). But I really shouldn’t be surprised! This is not easy on any of us, particularly Brock and Miri who have no way of really understanding what is going on right now.

I’m tired of living out of a suitcase. I’m tired of going in and out of hotels. I’m tired of weird men at hotel swimming pools who wear their underwear to swim in (cause there’s really little difference between briefs and a swimsuit anyway, right?) and who stare at and try to talk to my children. I just want to be done. I'm not saying I'm ready to go back to Vernal or anything, but I'm sick of sitting around and waiting for my household to arrive. And my attitude was defintely coming through today as I snapped at my children and was close to tears of self-pity on more than one occasion!

But today with one little statement, my sweet little boy taught me something about perspective. As we pulled into our driveway, he gave a big, contented sigh and said, “We’re home…”

And I realized, yeah, we are. Sure the stuff listed above is rotten and a big pain in the neck, but none of it is permanent. We have a hotel room here in town for tonight through Friday. We will be in the same room and I won’t have to repack every morning just to unpack a few hours later. They have a really awesome looking pool, so the kids are excited, but my fingers are crossed and prayers of desperation said for no more inappropriately dressed men trying to talk to us! Yes, I’m terrified for Ella to start school tomorrow just because she won’t know a single person. But I also know that she is awesome at making friends and even though I’m nervous about it now, I’m sure as soon as she comes home tomorrow I will realize that I had nothing to worry about.

Friday our movers should arrive with our stuff and maybe Friday night we can even sleep in our own house. I’m here with my husband and even though we haven’t had much time together yet, I’ve hugged and kissed him more in the last 48 hours than I have for the past month. Our first night back together was not at all romantic by any stretch of the imagination, with the girls in the couch-bed beside us and our son between us in the bed. But once our things come, we won’t have to share a bedroom (or a bed!) with the kids anymore. I think we will find one or two ways to celebrate that fact! (Sorry if that is TMI for some, deal with it.) ;)

Cleaning up the house and making the MANY desired changes will take some time, but we will make it happen little by little. This is our house now and so we can do what we want with it like peeling off the floral print wallpaper, painting over the purple bathroom and periwinkle kitchen, and tearing up the mauve carpet. The spiders and flies will be eradicated soon enough and as soon as our stuff arrives and we can get settled a little bit, hopefully the behavior will level off (yeah, I'm not going to ask for miracles...I do have 2 very dramatic daughters and a 3 year old!).

But we’re home. We’re together as a family and that’s what makes it home. We are here because we are 100% certain that this is where the Lord wants us. The Lord will always show us the way He wants us to go, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy to get there. But because we know He wants us here, we can take comfort in the fact that it will all work out eventually. It might be a little scary at first, but its home now. And it’s going to feel a little more like home every day that we are here.
So yeah, we’re home. And despite the mess, it still feels right.

On the Road Again...

For those of you who haven't heard, we're moving! Chad has accepted a position (within the same company) in Trenton, ND! While we are sad to leave Vernal, we are confident that it is time to move on. It was a rough couple of weeks and even stretching into months of uncertainty as he applied for various positions and we weren't sure what was going to be offered and what we could accept. It was a bit test in patience and trusting in the Lord, that's for sure!
Chad is already working up in ND on a regular basis and one of the awesome perks of this new job is that we are finally in a position to buy our first home! I drove up to meet with him about a week and a half ago, we looked at a few different houses and made an offer on one! Our offer has been accepted and we are under contract to buy this home. We are still waiting on the appraisal and inspection but our tentative close date is set for August 15th. School starts up there on August 22nd, so we are hoping to be able to get moved in right away and settled as quickly as possible so Ella can feel as normal as possible as she is thrown into the challenges of making new friends at a new school at the start of a brand new school year. (The job is in ND but we will actually be living in a little town in Sidney, MT.)
I had a little bit of a hiccup on my way home from my trip....well, several hiccups, but the one of great consequence was having a run in with Bambi. Literally. It was late, dark, I was going a little too fast, and hit a deer in the road. I think it's going to take years of therapy to get the image of hitting her out of my head but hopefully I will get there someday. My car was still running and since it was so late and dark, I just kept driving, thinking, if my car was working, how bad could it really be? Well, to make a long story "short", I took out Bambi and Bambi took out my entire radiator. The bill from the body shop is not going to be pretty, but we are just grateful that only my car was damaged. It could have been so much worse and we understand that. So, we're just trying to look at the bright side here and not complain.
So, for the moment, we are just keeping busy with packing and trying to get ready to move! I'm still working down at the high school for the summer and leaving my students is really going to be the hardest thing for me. Ella is struggling with the idea of leaving her friends, but we are trying to focus on the positives for all of us. Included are a few photos of the house we are buying....needs some serious redecorating, but we are more than up for the job!

A Few Pictures...

Just wanted to post a few pictures of the kids and our new kitchen table. We don't have too much going on right now, we're just enjoying conference weekend and trying to keep busy while Chad is working in North Dakota. We are going to head out and visit some of my family over Easter weekend, so I'm sure we'll have some fun pictures to share then! Happy Easter everyone. We pray that the love of Christ may fill your hearts and homes.

Seek and ye shall find...

I just wanted to share a few things from this past weekend. I attended the Regional Women's Conference where we got to hear from Sister Sylvia H. Allred, the first counselor in the General Relief Society Presidency. (I even met her very briefly afterward and she gave me a hug and told me thank you for being a good mom!) It was a great meeting from beginning to end and I was so happy to be able to attend! That night we had the adult session of stake conference and it was really great to hear insights from our stake leaders as well. We did of course attend the general session the next morning, and while we made it through the meeting with minimal problems, we are not quite at the point where we can sit and take notes yet! So as great as the meeting was, I don't really remember much! That's okay though. We will get there one of these days! :)So, some of these are quotes from the speakers but of course they are not word for word. And then some of them are just my own thoughts that came to me during the meeting.

The Holy Ghost may go misheeded or misheard but it is never misunderstood. -So I guess I feel the need to share a little bit more about this one. Several times in the past few weeks, I have been prompted to do something and unfortunately I haven't done it usually because I thought I was too busy at the moment. Then a day or two later, I have been shown why I should have listened. I guess because of those things, this comment really hit home for me. I want so much to do better and I have resolved to try. I need to remind myself when these things happen that nothing is so important that it can't be set aside for a minute or two while I make a quick phone call or swing by someone's house to check on them.

Gaining faith is a process for all of us. At times all we can bring to the Lord is a desire to believe but even then he can help us.

Sometimes coming to Jesus means we must forgo worldly assurances and step unknowingly out into the sea.

Do not pray for tasks equal to your abilities but for abilities equal to your tasks. Then the task itself will not be the miracle but you will be the miracle.

Just like the Ammonite women had to flee wickedness and find a new place to raise their families in righteousness, we need to flee the wickedness around us as well. No, we cannot pick up and leave the communities we live in, but we can create a spiritual sanctuary within our homes.

Women have many opportunities for leadership within the church and are essential to the plan of salvation.

Sisters open their arms to a kind hug and open their hearts to those in need.

We are measured by what we give and not by what we receive. So we should not be asking what Relief Society can give us, but what we can give to Relief Society.

It is essential for us to put as much of our energy and efforts into strengthening families.

When visiting teaching, we must see ourselves as the Lord's personal messenger. We are the ones responsible for expressing the Lord's love to each sister and seeing to their personal and spiritual needs.

As sisters, we matter more than we think we do. We make a difference and when we live our testimonies of the gospel, we are able to positively affect those around us.

Patterns are there to help us. They keep us on the right course. And the best pattern to follow is that of the life of Jesus Christ.

The world teaches quick results with minimal effort while the Lord's way requires work, time, and patience.

Spiritual sprints may look great, but they actually make us very lazy. Because they are so difficult, we need to take long periods of rest afterward where we do not progress. Slow and steady is far more effective in the long run.

Be cheerfully engaged in all things.

Electronic devices are still not allowed in the mission field! Our youth MUST learn how to use the scriptures.

Satin makes it easy for us to lose ourselves in our electronic devices.

Our children need to learn to work, play, and communicate. Technology does not allow for these things to happen.

We can survive without technology but we cannot survive without the Holy Ghost.

Attending the temple helps to restore the blessing promised to us after we have repented of our sins.

The people we do proxy work for in the temple need us but we need them as well. We cannot keep our temple covenants without the opportunity to return.

Are we unknowingly aiding the adversary in his plight to keep our children from marriage and a family?

Many of our youth are losing confidence in the organization of the family. -I couldn't help but think of myself when I heard this one and the way I felt about marriage several years ago. My parents were always wonderful examples of a loving marriage, but there were some other examples very prominent in my life that were very negative. I saw constant arguing between the couples themselves and then often times, the spouses would even complain about each other to their friends or family members. This kind of marriage did not look like fun to me and I lost interest in the idea of marriage completely. It took time, a loving bishop, and meeting Chad for me to realize that not all marriages we conducted that way. So that we do not promote such negative thoughts and feelings about marriage to others, Chad and I try very hard to solve our problems between ourselves and not share them with others. I do not speak negatively about him to my friends, and I feel confident in saying that he does not speak negatively about me either. Our marriage isn't perfect and we don't always agree, but we do the best we can to work together and bring a happy, loving atmosphere to our home.

Any doctrine that is anti-family is also anti-Christ.

Any accountant will tell you that it is impossible to live as well on 90% as on 100% but this blessing is extended to every full-tithe payer out there.

If there are not miracles happening in our families, we are the ones preventing them from happening, for God wishes to bestow upon us the blessings of a miracle.

Having a family is a faith-based activity.

And finally, here is a youtube video of one of the songs that was sung during women's conference. I loved it so much that I had to share!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJRhxr8IxM4

Ella at Temple Square

These were taken by Amber Miller who is out in the Salt Lake Area. She was awesome! If you need someone out in that area, let me know and I'll help you get ahold of her.

From November...

Just wanted to give credit where credit is due....these were all taken back in November by Melinda Smith out in Vernal. She has a facebook page if you live in the area and are looking for a photographer. She does amazing work and is a lot of fun!

Hello everyone! Here I am again, ready to give you and update through pictures and words on our lives. I guess I'll start with the first photo...Brock in his Buzz Lightyear costume! He wore this nearly everyday for about two and a half months. He still asks for it daily, but for several reasons, we decided to be cruel parents and take it away from him. He was wearing this thing not just at home but out in public so consistently that people would see us and laugh and I didn't understand why. It was so normal to me! 

Brock is in primary at church now, and we struggled for a few weeks at first with tantrums and tears about his new class, but he enjoys it now! Last week was the first week I was able to drop him off without a temper tantrum and when he came home he was so proud to tell us about his lesson about the Holy Ghost making us feel happy inside. We are so glad to see the progress that he makes, now if we could only convince him to make progress in the potty-training area of life!

And our crazy Ella! What a little nutcase, huh? Oh we love her! We are so happy to share that just this month we were able to have her baptized. It was such a special day for her and we really enjoyed it. We had several of our extended families come out to celebrate with us and had a great time. The baptism itself of course was beautiful (I cried but I'm sure that's no shocker) and then we were able to spend most of the rest of the day swimming and hanging out with family. It was a tiring weekend, but it was awesome!

Ella stays busy every week with girl scouts, dance class, swim class, and now that she's 8, activity days through church. We just finished selling girl scout cookies and will have to get them deliverd in a few weeks here. She will have two dance competitions this year, one in March and one in May. She is doing very well in school, above average in every subject, especially chit-chatting!

Our little Meer-cat always makes us smile! She is growing so big and we are in complete denial over the fact that she is not a baby anymore. She is spouting out not new words, but phrases almost everyday and my jaw drops in shock every time! I was trying to put toys away the other night and she very firmly said, "no mom! let go!" Then today, she was looking through a church alphabet book that my sister made for the kids and she came across M for Mommy. There is a picture of me on the page and she says to the book, "Hi Mommy! I wuv you!" My heart just melted!

 Chad and I are defintely staying busy. When I spend an afternoon in the car running Ella back and forth to her activities, I often wonder how moms of several kids all involved in activites do it! Do they just live in their cars? I'm sure it will be an adventure to find out! Chad is very busy between work and his calling as Elder's Quorum President in our ward. He spends a lot more time at church now but is enjoying learning from everyone that he is working with.

We were able to make a quick escape to Salt Lake a few weeks ago just for a night to see the comedian Brian Regan with some of my family. We had a delicious dinner before with everyone and then at the show, we laughed so hard our faces hurt! He was hysterical and if you ever get a chance to go see him, do it! We stayed in Salt Lake that night while Ella, Brock, and Miri had a slumber party with two awesome baby sitters. I think they had just as much fun as we did! Take care everyone!